Been thinking for a while what I should actually post up.
But whatever it is, I decided to just talk about what I feel on the INSIDE..okay not really but somehow.
Well first, I shall bring you along my life.
So this is me, when I was secondary one.
Like some typical secondary one students,I had fun. LOL
It was a soso life when I was sec one, I remember I started to do private blogging that time for my friends to read.
Yknow, like those common private blogs that ppl only share among their friends. It was like a trend to have one back then , so ya.
Then I grew up. lolwtf.
Sec 2.
Actually, my secondary school life was NEVER good.
I bet yours too , like , who have a darn good sec school life?
So sec 2 was kind of a hard year for me. To think of it, it's kind of childish to play along with those haters you have in school. Look, who doesn't have haters? Even God has got haters. Who are you to have no haters?
Just like how childish ppl do when they are in their lower sec lives, ppl hate , ppl backstab. Nobody knew how words could kill but we were young and we all grew up now , so , no hatreds at all. And I bet I never REALLY hated anybody even if they treated me like crap.
Around Nov/Dec of 2009 , I was sec 2 , I started out public blogging.
People told me about Nuffnang, so I was out to try.
Back then, public blogging was not really a trend and people just continued with their private friends-friends blogging , so I don't really know a lot of public bloggers.
I thought I was weird but it's kind of fun to share stuffs to people then to keep it to a certain people. So I continued. Thought it was a good idea since I love taking photos and now I found a personal space to put up.
Then I'm sec three.
If sec two was considered a HARD time, I guess sec three was F.HARD then.
As you know, Sec three classes was arranged by the subjects you'd taken , so I parted with some of my hang-out-buddies during sec two and got to a place full of...strangers (?).
I was not a person who will hop on to random people and started talking to make friends.
Furthermore, everybody's with their own bunch of cliques so I was alone during sec 3 most of the time.
Fucked up things happened. Bitches everywhere. Love/ hate issues.
The fact is, I actually kept FREAKING quiet during sec 3.
Might be due to the hard time I had in sec 2 , I decided not to talk at all so I wouldn't attract haters.
So all I could do is to talk about my heartfelt words on the net, and blog about it sometimes.
People in school thinks I'm weird or something, and they started insulting my blog.
I was/am not an excellent blogger but I do felt that I should have my own personal space and was freaking out by how they are against my 'life' .
I got teased everytime when I'm in school.
For my height , for my size , for my blog , for my life.
I was, in fact, hated for who I am.
I was nothing close to the people who insulted/teased me in school. I don't hate them , since they didn't know who I am. (Like I said , I was freaking quiet in sec 3)
Not only that, there were certain misunderstandings between some people and me AND I turned out to become some bitch/slut you call it , since nobody's willing to listen to MY SIDE of the story.
School was like a living hell to me, and going to school was like forcing into a cage full of devils from hell.
The fact is, I ran home EVERY DAY and cried in the shower.
I hate how I'm in this world since everybody hates me so much.
I was, like any other people. I got verbal bullied , and cyber bullied every fucking day.
Family thought it was my fault and it must be for my attitude for getting haters in school.
Nobody understands. Do you know how it actually feels like..being so helpless?
Obviously , I wanted to just delete my entire blog and hide.
But sadly, who will actually care? And don't you think I'm just making everyone happy by removing my blog ? That's what they want in the end, isn't it?
Then I told myself,
since everybody was born for a reason , I must have been born to entertain people, by letting them hate me.
Yes, I detest myself for everything but what can I do?
Sec 4 was a smoother life in terms of friendships.
I started talking. And haters behind all these things aren't really that bad.
But sec 3 was so impactful because I didn't really do much things wrong, so I tend to not trust people that easily anymore.
But yknow.., I'm fine now :)
Haters, think before you speak as words could hurt somebody so bad to the extent that you can never imagine. You may think those words were really nothing, but you never know how huge that impact will cause to a certain person.
So , somebody asked me on formspring : "You're young, how did you manage to build a road to so many readers?"
Actually , I don't have much readers. I'm just like any other bloggers, blogging about my life, blogging about reviews for other people. (:
The thing is, no matter what, continue doing what you actually like.You can't please everyone, so why don't you please yourself first?:)
Hater's comments? DGAF.
Haters are just people who are unhappy that you're living a better life than them , so they're trying to pull you down. If you're affected , you lose. Raise your head up high , you know somebody still love you for who you are. And just be you. Everybody's gonna know that they are wrong and love you one day darling. ♥
I have no idea why it ended up like some counseling session but I just thought it would be good to add in some words like this in the end, for in case there's people who are having a life as sucky as mine.
Just email me or formspring me if you're really having life as sucky as mine , 'cause I know how it feels. ♥Good luck honeybees. xx ♥
